Why dumpster-dive?
Here's why-- I found this note (or assignment, whatever) in a recycling box at Ithaca College during moving week. Here it is, printed as found:
Me: Where have you been? All day. Where
Adam: Hospital. I'm a doctor. I have to work all day to make the money.
Me: You're always working. Was Lisa the nurse at the hospital today.
Adam: She's only a friend. I'm sick of your jealousy repeatedly.
Me: I'm home all day, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our children. You're selfish.
Adam: I'm pissed off. Lisa + I are going on vacation to Bulgaria.
Me: What? I want a divorce. I fell in love with our dentist.
Adam: Jim? He's fat, boring, and ugly. I'm rich and handsome.
Me: But he's softheaded. You're mean and bigheaded.
Adam: Up till now you were happy. What happened?
Me: I'm pooped out from all your lies. You don't care about me. I'll send you the divorce papers in 2 wks.
Adam: I confess. I let this marriage go bad. We're finished.
Me: I'll keep our 3 children. I want 1/2 your money.
Adam: You go to hell. I'm calling my lawyer. I'm postponing my travels to Bulgaria.
Me: I hate you.
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2 comments:
Sarah's own Found, From Ithaca to Cleveland
It is rather funny, but I feel a bit bad that the "author's" privacy was invaded a bit--they did throw it away after all, meaning they didn't intend for anyone to read it. I'm sure they knew it was awful.
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