Now that I have a family member in AA, + b/c I've been doing some pretty stupid stuff lately, I'm starting to reevaluate my thoughts on alcohol.
I'll never again become one of those cold-turkey people who refuse anything w/ a trace of alcohol in it. I know that. But I've been noticing a scary trend within myself-- the inability to stop. I like beer + I can have fun by just drinking one. But I never leave it at that. Instead I'll need more + more.
I've been told AA is good b/c it shows you how terrible alcohol really is. I've been told it's worse than any other drug. You don't have to make any moonlight deals in the back alley with alcohol. If you need a fix just go up to Circle K.
+ When you drink, it's not considered a problem. Just imagine what ppl would say if you declared, "Hey all, I'm running down the street to buy an eight ball of crack." I doubt there's a country song about going on a C-R-A-C-K-R-U-N.
But you know, they're more alike than they seem.
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9 comments:
If drinking weren't considered a problem, there wouldn't be such a thing as AA.
Not exactly in response to anything you wrote, but having an alcohol problem is more about an attitude than how much you drink (drinking a lot is certainly an aspect of being an alcholic, so no one get all hysterical and put words in my mouth). If you got out and get trashed every Thursday night, that's not what makes you an alcoholic (although binge drinking is still something people shouldn't do, for many reasons). It's when you need a drink that you have a problem; when you wake up in the morning and that's the first thing you think about. People can be alcoholics even if they only drink one drink a day, because they feel they need that one drink to function. So, no, I'm not going to feel guilty about going out with the girls a couple of nights a month, because I'm responsible about it and know that alcohol isn't something I crave or need.
Yeah, I guess what worries me is the need to have it.
No, it really doesn't have anything to do w/ how much you drink. Like there are many college kids who binge drink + who are certainly not alcoholics b/c they do it as a social thing.
I guess that brings up another problem-- guilt. It seems like the there are lots of ppl who try to guilt-trip you for having a drink now and then (I know that story) but really there isn't a problem yet.
Also, alcoholics never know when to stop. + If you try to cool them off, they get pissed.
All in all it's a fine line to be weary of.
Addictions can come from any source.
"Happiness" may not come from a bottle but it may come from a video game or for me the close intimacy of someone.
By the quotes I mean that you only feel satisfied or happy when you can have that thing. When you can't have it, it may become omnipresent part of your mind and thoughts. Where your thoughts are constantly on when the next time you can have that desire satisfied.
You may become seriously depressed, angry, moody or generally not a good person.
Traditionally it is substances, but we all know people where it is exercise, work, love, and recently video games and TV.
For me personally I never got into drinking, but my uncle and a few relatives were drunks. My brothers and sisters were all one of those work hard than part hardy type of people but never had a drinking problem that I am aware of (which brings up another point for a later discussion.)
However, I have and do have my own addictions. Although it isn't as stressful on the family as alcohol still never the less an addiction.
For a long time it was TV, I was only satisfied or happy when I could watch TV. If that was unsatisfied I had those withdrawal issues. It affected school because my immediate thoughts were of going home and satisfying those desires.
Eventually it became video games until the past year. I remember days in college where all I would have was 60 bucks for a week or two and I would spend it not on food and gas but video games. I had most likely the same chemical reaction as to alcohol if I didn't or did have it.
I became depressed and unhappy when I didn't and suddenly very content and happy when I could. It created it's own addiction without the need of other chemicals. My brain supplied it all.
Recently - and you are all going to laugh - it has become sex and physical interaction, and just dating in general. Even just filtering would help satisfy.
It can be all well and all, but if I couldn't satisfy that interaction I became moody and short with people, as well as I was willing to take from any source even though I had wanted to have a loving relationship with someone and even let the other person know, "hey guess who I made out with!?"
I could become a Buddhist and figure out how to temper desires or I could just find replacements but this time don't have it to one thing. Have more than one desire to have. Find many things to satisfy me and that way I don't have that stark difference between the depression of withdrawal to the feeling of satisfaction and happiness of satisfying a desire.
Which is why I think I am letting my self drink. See even hardcore straight edges even say, "I got other addictions." They find happiness and satisfaction elsewhere.
I think I should commend you though and big time for thinking about this issue and wanting to resolve it.
I was also thinking I wonder that becaue in the case of my siblings they were tempered by having the distraction of having a child.
They had a child and work to keep them distracted.
Yes, I know there are people who try to make you feel guilty, and that's so ridiculous. You know some doctors even think a glass of wine or beer a day is even good for you? Just tell 'em you're improving your health. ; )
Yeah, there are different kinds of addictions. My family likes to joke, even, that we all are addicts (because it is true that all of us have addictive personalities, and we have to funnel them somewhere besides drugs and alcohol). I think I was half trashed at the time, actually, haha, and said mine was that I get obsessed with TV shows.
Oh just a quick disclaimer. In no way am I making light of the sitaution that Vlasta is in as far as Alcohol is conserned. Vlasta has shared some things with me and I am not trying to take that lightly.
Okay enough of that!
I do know some straightedges who look at tv as an obsession. Or they may follow things like Harry Potter religously.
Like I said before TV and Video Games became my obsession. Ironically as I began to let myself drink ocassionaly I was able to start balancing things.
I am a big believer of that word: Balance. I think it is healthy to do a little of this, do a little of that, and just a dash of "Woah!" Meaning a beer or a glass a wine occasionaly and even just getting smahshed every so often - as long as you drink with tursted friend can be a fine and good thing.
Next time someone guilt trips that you are drinking maybe find out what their obsession is? I figured out how to handle things a little better so that I don't guilt triped INTO drinking. Usually if I don't drink it is because I have to drive home or have work or all they have is beer.
Do you know, when you were with (one of?) the people who made you feel guilty about drinking, you made me feel like I should be ashamed of drinking, too. Not that I was or that it stopped me, though.
Did I make you gulty? I am a dork and have an amazing habit of misreading! :)
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