As of this moment I'm working hard to become self-sufficient in the future. Yes, I say in the future rather than NOW because my job is starting at the *end* of July rather than NOW. I really want/need to pick up a bs job for some moolah, but I'm also in between residencies. NOW I'm trying to find myself an apt. in the Cleveland/Lakewood area. I'm yet again in limbo. Here's some random notes about random stuff I've just randomly decided to post. Now ain't that totally random?
(440) Ashtabula' n all that.
This county is depressing. If I were to stay here I would quickly become addicted to things that I shouldn't name. Actually there are quite a few things I'd be addicted to. I could see myself turning into one if those crazy girls who plan their day around how they're gonna mess themselves up. "What am I gonna do today? Well what's around?" Maybe if there was more to do, there would be somewhat less of a meth problem. Actually, if people were able to find meaningful things to do (+ actual *gasp* employment opportunities), there would be less of a general drug problem overall.
(216) Cleveland starts at w. 112th.
So I've been looking at apartments on the westside. Personally, I like the area in between Edgewater and Cudell--like W. 112, W. 110, and all those other roads stretching between Madison and Clifton in that area. It can be a little rough around the edges, but hey, I find it charming. Call me crazy. At least it ain't the 'burbs. I looked at a place on W. 112 that I kinda liked but the others with me didn't find the street at all appealing. So then I looked at W. 110 and they liked that better. Makes me wonder- what makes a street nice? The landloards on W. 110 were commenting how their street used to be like W. 112 until they "cleaned it up." What constitutes a clean street? How do you differentiate between people hanging around as a good thing (instilling a community feeling) with something to be avoided +/ broken up (as in "they're all crackheads!"). I dunno... I find it interesting.
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24 comments:
You're such a Gemini sometimes!
I read your comments about Ashtabula, and you seem so cynical. I want to get out of here, too, but mostly because there's no job I can do here. There's a lot of "meaningful things to do" in Ashtabula, if people bothered to do anything but hate the place. You're like one of those native Clevelanders, the people who always bemoan the city and who let outsiders appreciate it more.
Then I read your comments about W. 112, and I think you are something like naive or idealistic about the world, if you found that street appealing and can't see why others wouldn't. Just people "hanging around" isn't what instills "a community feeling." If you can't feel the vibe of a street...well.
I like W. 110 anyways. Not saying that I really was impressed with W. 112... it is what it is, I guess. Same with Ashtabula. I have trouble not being cynical with the county b/c I don't really see many good things happening. Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong areas. I dunno. At least in Cleveland things are mixed. You don't have to go far to see something new.
Did the dude say that Monday as well? Becuase when we went to visit him Today he said the same thing then.
It makes sense I think maybe what "Vlasta216" is getting at is that is it about class and culture? That middle-class create this bad neighborhoods to avoid because they are full of "Crackheads" That instead of fixing the problem they just move to the burbs.
Then again I thnk it is reasonable to want to live in area where others aren't suddenly going to drop out of their drugged haze. Am I stereotypign or do you think I am being resonable.
Maybe it is more than just a saftey issue maybe it really is just cultural. My ideas of what constitues a nice neighborhood. I know som burbbess who would think my area (w116th off the same street as the one on 110th) is too "urban" and may think I live in a bad neihborhood.
In fact when a cop was droping me off after a car accident he commented that, "you better watch you live in a bad neihgborhood" He lives in North Olmsted.
As well when I first saw Ohio City I was worried. I was at first even scared of stoping at a light around 65th and 50th st on Detroit at midnight. However, in reality my saftey wasn't any worse than anywhere else.
It was just that my expectation of what is comfortable was looking at white suburbs as safe and good.
Now my attitude has changed the more time I spent in Ohio City and my expectations changed. Keep in mind I never lived in a city untill just recently. I lived in Toledo but really it was more suburban than anything else where I lived I avoided the "Bad" areas.
I was in shaker and I did find myself uncomfortable at first. The lawns were mowed, the gardens were fresh, kids were walking on the street. People were enjoying the weather. I saw people grilling, yet I was nerveous when I drived latter at night. Why? Well I guess in a way I am bit of a racists without knowing it.
My idea of safe and what is normal is being challenged more, now that I live in Cleveland.
A month ago I did my first steps of walking downtown at night.
A neighborhood being "bad" or "good" doesn't have to do with people being "black" or "white," (not prob. with a lot of people, but in regards to how we felt about W. 116 on Sunday), because I'm sure "non-whites" live on W. 110. I just think that if these same streets were in Ashtabula, Conneaut, etc., the word you would be using to describe them wouldn't be "charming."
I don't think it's stereotyping to not want to live near people who are going to "drop out of their drugged haze." It's simple statistics to know that being near them isn't the safest place to be. But anyone can be one of them, not just people in "urban" areas. People can hide their drug use and not look like they're on drugs, but if someone does look like a drug user, then they prob. are a drug user, and I think people should be smart and not willfully surround themselves with that kind of people.
And if a cop commented on your area, don't you think he prob. would know the crime rate, etc. of the area? He was prob. talking about W 116. ; )
Were you saying w116th was a bad area? You do realize that I have on numerous occasions left my doors unlocked with my cds in plan view. It may look urban but I have had little or no problems or hassles walking home at 2am tipsy alone. I have also seen fairly new cars on the side of the streets without any scratches or dents. Meaning there aren't drunks plowing into like a street were a friend lived in North Olmsted.
For me a sign of a good neihborhood is kids playing on the street at night, which I have seen on numerous occasion. I have talked to neighbors who lived their for YEARS and have had little problems or issues.
Also keep in mind anytimes you say stats, you have to actually have stats. Do you have stats on my street or neighboorhood. Keep in mind Cleveland is like one block maybe "good" while another block may not. Also keep in mind that being a cop in North Olmsted doesn't make you an expert on Cleveland crime stats.
Also you are giving peopel too much credit in assuming people aren't racists. I don't know a person who isn't racisits if they claim they aren't then they are probably the biggest bigot. At least that is my opinion.
So you guys actually thought my street was dangerous or bad? For real? Wow so where did you find those stats? ;-)
I am just giving you a hard time on that one. But why didn't you guys say that to me. Please all no cattiness behind backs! :D
Just to be clear I hate text, I don't want to come off as combative or anything. You can't hear tone and inflection on text. :-/
Bah having poster regret. I just realized about what you meant about black and white. Man Nick that shoe is salty. Num-num.
No, I wasn't talking about your street, Nick, as I frankly have no idea where you live, although I think we did drive by it, and no one thought your street was a bad area! When I said that the cop meant W. 116, I meant the street we were at the other day, and it was a joke, hence the "; )."
I didn't assume other people weren't racists. I said in my comment inside () that while *other* people might be referring to the fact that the street had "black" people, that wasn't what we meant when we thought the street was less than desirable. It was more, don't project racism on us.
And the stats comment, again, was not referring to your street, or even thinking about your street, or even any place in Cleveland, and it was meant in general, as in, it's common sense not to want to live on a street that probably has drug users on it, as, I'm sorry, it is a "common stat," and this isn't a comment on the how or why or whose fault or etc., because while that may be important, it's irrelevant to what I mean now, just a simple statement that if you need "proof," you can simply look at basically any study, such as this one, although there must be better ones, but it isn't that important to me to look, that "drug-using lifestyles are major contributors to the U.S. crime problem."
Maybe the W. 116 (the one we looked at, I think there is two sides, and one looked all right) is a perfectly fine street, but it looked and felt *bad*, and why would you put yourself at risk just to, what, make a point, when you could live somwhere better?
And I did say that "white-collars," too, are drug users.
And no one thinks your street is bad!
I don't know a person who isn't racisits if they claim they aren't then they are probably the biggest bigot. At least that is my opinion.
There is actually an interesting online "quiz" type thing that helps determine if you have a "bias" or "prejudice" against groups of people, like different non-Caucasian groups, elderly, overweight people (there are obviously multiple quizzes). It doesn't ask questions--because people can lie or not even know themselves with those--but instead uses flashing pictures and words. I read about it in the book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking last summer, which is v. interesting and is about your thoughts in the first 2 seconds of first seeing something and intuition. It's an interesting quiz because people's bias can be unconscious--and unwanted--and so they can be surprised by the results. Because I agree that most people *do* have some racism in them, even if they don't want to, because it's a product of society's views, and some of it seeps through no matter what you did. That's why it's up to parents to raise their children differently, so they won't be exposed to racism, sexism, etc. /Weird Rambling
I found the link for the test, if you're interested.
http://www.implicit.harvard.edu/
I made a blog entry about it, too, back in January.
I almost feel like rereading both of those books!
Haha - Poor "Lesoja" we are ranting and raving with her in the middle. My apologies if I sound defensive. Maybe I was a litte, W116th is my street. :D
I get that a lot actually when I talk about Ohio city.
My feeling is that peopel look at working class neighboorhoods or poor neighborhoods or run down houses as a sign of danger. Like in parts of "Trashtabula" Doesn't mean they are bad neighbors as much as they will lower your property value.
That being said, I didn't like that place on W116th and would have prefered a nicer or better place. Again cultural attitudes of what is nice.
However, I admit I didn't like 110th either the same with Mom's. I think what I want to know is what is a fair and resonable attitude to just "well thats bad"
I have had friends in trailer parks does that meant that their parents were loafers sucking "welfare checks" or were they just poor parents who had hard luck. Or in the case of my friend a single mother out of a bad relationship.
Again I am sorry I get into rants about class issues. :D But you do make good points about it all.
I mean it is reasonable to go "man that place is trashy I don't want to be there." but what is resonable and what is just unreasonable fear. :D
I wasn't talking about your street, honest. : ) I just realized I had typed "116" (in my second comment) when I meant "112." I guess that explains why you were defensive and why I had no idea what you were talking about!
But what I said was look *and* feel. Of the two, I think the way something feels is more important, and that's not something that can be explained, such as that house looks run down. It's a vibe, and doesn't just have to do with appearance. I mean, geez! Our house was falling apart when we first bought it, and my mom cried when she saw it! I don't know, I think it comes down to instinct.
No that makes perfect sense.
If you feel odd or if you think things are out of place then definatly it doesn't work.
As well YOU got to live there so if you aren't comfortable or not getting a vibe than it doesn't work.
I guess for me the cool thing was that one of my friends moved to Ohio City I got a bad vibe but for them it worked. But it wasn't a strong, "OMG."
That idea of one man's trash. I guess I want to know what makes us think what is trash and what is treasure?
Poor "Vlasta" she will come back only to find our conversation. We should lie and say we got in a big fight and never want to talk to each other again. See what she says than! :D
Who says it would be a lie! :)
WOAH! SNAP! :D
hehehehe. i'm loving this!
Anyways, I think why I find Ashtabula so depressing compared to Cleveland is this: Both places share the same story of the dramas of drug-use. I know that. But to me, I don't know anyone personally in Cleveland who is caught in that trap. So to me, Cleveland is about the people I know, the ones who work hard + party on the side, but generally have other things to focus their life on. If bad things happen in Cleveland, the days go by + there's other things to do. Cleveland was always such a positive distraction for me- it would make me forget about anything else that I might find depressing b/c I'd always find something else to focus on. It's like I can plug in to a variety of outlets.
It's different in Ashtabula for me. There are too many people there I know and love who are caught in that trap. And frankly, it's too easy to do. I get seriously depressed spending a lot of time there- all the drugs, the traps, and nothing else to focus on. I lose all my ambition b/c I have nothing to remind me why I should even have it in the first place. And to escape that, all I can do is go to Cleveland (hence why I make the drive at least 3 times a week). When I come back, I feel relieved.
True, W. 112 may look better just b/c it's in Cleveland. And yes, I would probably hate it in Conneaut as it would remind me of this person and that person caught in that rut. At least in the 216 you don't have to go far for a change of scenery.
Know what I mean?
Alright Vlasta you got us all discuising things. Well I guess to I think of Tremont, but why do we assume that the run down look=drug usage. It assumes that those who are poor are people who abuse drugs.
Or do you think I am reading too much into it?
Because the lower-class folk are the ones pinned with drug-usage. Poverty>depression>drugs>temporary escape. Or they turn to drugs to make money. Simple economics.
See the rich do drugs too. But b/c they have power they don't get themselves in trouble. Hello? Resident Bush? Drugs are another great tool to keep people under. Once you get into drugs all you think about is, well, drugs. Then yr life becomes defined around this substance + you begin to make every decision with it in mind (+/or in body).
Have you heard about the rich introducing crack into the ghettos? Look at crack and coke. Same substance basically but crack touches more on racism + classism. Fines for crack are way worse than for coke. Why is that?
To continue my parents have older cars, they do their best to take care of it, but it doesn't mean they are people who are dumb or not sucesful in life, it just means they rather put their money elsewhere. As well they don't just have any wealth to base off of.
Being in a poor area doesn't mean you put your money in drugs it means you don't have wealth. By the way I am not accusing of anyone from being guilty. I am just saying I think it is a general attitude of us all.
Oops the last post I was slowly writing between calls. But this post is responded to the crack/coke response.
That's very true about crack and fines.
But I suppose my thing is what assumes that those who are poor use more drugs?
America is afraid of the poor.
I guess I see your reasoning, then. Cleveland is like a start-over place.
Was "Resident Bush" deliberate? Hahaha. I love it.
I just noticed the Resident Bush - it has been a few years since I heard that.
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